19

This is a study in time. Not scientific time, but emotional time.

What is the optimum emotional state? The popular and perhaps wrongheaded view of Buddhism is that adherents seek nirvana, a state of concentrated nothingness. But when you think that way, it’s tantamount to removing yourself from the ebb and flow of daily life. Your impact on the course of human events become negligible. You have to ask yourself, what’s the point of being alive at all? On the other hand, thinking dictated by emotion is often a precursor to wasteful and destructive action.

I suppose we’re looking for balance. Like the principle of vaccination, give us a little bit of the disease so we can build an immunity to it. In the same way, experiencing a little envy or a little anger may be the best way to avoid the extreme versions.

Emotionally healthy people can be a foundation for a mentally and physically healthy society. Part of being emotionally healthy is not always being emotionally healthy. A little stress at times forces us to be creative in dealing with it.  And without creativity, humanity faces a dead end.

Emotional pain is necessary for growth and all our experiences, even the most insignificant ones count for something. But too many of us remain on an emotional treadmill, running hard, but going nowhere. We perceive the lessons intellectually, but unless our emotional state is a mature one, the lesson is likely to be repeated, with similar results.

The greatest of negative emotions is fear. It is so powerful that it can come to dominate our lives. What makes fear so strong? It’s the blow to our ego; the realization of our inadequacy; the documentation of our ignorance. It’s these facts we fear, not the thing itself. If we were not inadequate, if we were not ignorant, fear would have no power over us. But as it is, our fears rule us much more than our good emotions do.

Emotional diffusion is another one of our major failings. Why are we emotionally diffused? Maybe it has to do with our lack of intellectual discipline. Too many years of taking the easy way out; reading the less challenging book; thinking only the most pleasant thoughts.

If human beings could focus and control their emotions, the universe would be theirs. But more often than not, our emotions are the tail wagging the dog.

Within every world there is another world. Worlds within worlds. One person’s orbit may contain many satellites, like Saturn while another person’s orbit may be barren, like Venus.

It would seem that loneliness is our connection to God. God in his entirety should be the object of our search. A human life searching for eternity gives meaning to the transience.

One thought is all you need. One idea about the world. If it’s clear you can see the horizon. The future will unfold like the pages of a book. But you can’t turn back because it’s a one-way ride.

I’m convinced of the above paragraph. I’m hopping through time, but one thing remains true. No matter what, one thing follows another.

I came upon a town that was mostly a college. The population of the town was 800 souls. That number included the size of the student body: 485. Just about everybody else in the town worked for the college in one capacity or another. The college stood on some high ground between the very short main street and the Chokahaney River. I was here to see Physics Professor Zeitgenga.

When I walked into his office, at first all I saw was a pile of books and papers on his desk. But the Professor, a small man with a white mustache and a white shock of hair on his head, was sitting behind his desk totally absorbed in whatever abstract thoughts and numbers were percolating in his mind.

It took a while, but I finally got his full attention. It happened when I said, “Professor, I find myself lost in time.”

The Professor replied, “The only thing that will stand the test of time is time itself.”

I replied, “I’m not even too sure about that.”

The Professor: “Maybe your confusion arises from the fact that time does not always move as a straight arrow. From time to time it zigzags.”

Me: “And when it does that, you can become nauseous.”

The Professor smiled, “My biggest problem about time is that there’s not enough time to study it.”

Me: “Can you tell me anything conclusive about time?”

The Professor: “Not at this time. But I can tell you something about Reality and maybe that will help you understand time better.”

Me: “Please.”

The Professor: “Reality is a duality that acts as a singularity. The basic duality of Reality is the opposing concepts of something and nothing. Even though there is a concept of nothing, its value is nothing. Therefore, there is only something, hence the singularity.”

I thanked the Professor for his time and took a stroll around the campus.

I followed the course of the Chokahaney for the next few days. I didn’t see many people. At some point I crossed over from Georgia to Tennessee then wandered down into northern Alabama. I spotted some foxes, deer and bobcats among the wild population. They didn’t know what year they were in and they didn’t care.

When a human says they don’t care it doesn’t mean they don’t care. It either means they care too much, or they’re tired of worrying about it. Another way of saying the hell with it.

I wonder how close I am to the Promised Land. Is it just around the corner?

I felt like I had gone (or was going) full circle. I was hopping from year to year again, not knowing why, and wandering through various rural and small town settings, meeting people for the first and probably last time. I qualify the term ‘last time’ because I may have been consigned to the part of Dante’s Hell where the lost souls keep repeating the same things over and over.

Nobody I had yet met had spoken Italian, so maybe I was still a free man. But one relegated to a confined space. Maybe my talent level had maxed out, but my discount ticket back home could only be used at a set time and that time was still a good way off. But if that was true, they could just, voila!, move me in time to that departure date.

But there was no departure date. You would think locating sentient light beams and talking them into visiting the earth for the next one thousand would be an accomplishment worthy of at least a pat on the back. But in this crazy world of time travel, where cause and effect may not entirely lose their efficacy, but definitely give up ground to chaos, I find myself holding on to a sort of a feckless hope. Of all men, I am most forlorn.

It was time to quit feeling sorry for myself. Two chicken houses come into view as I cross over a hill. A small farmhouse is in the foreground. Well, you already know how this story goes. What are the chances I’ll meet a farming couple, husband and wife? The only question is will they be young or old?

Well, how about somewhere in between?

I knock on the back screen door. A woman with an apron walks out and says howdy.

I say howdy and say, “I was wondering if I could trouble you for a drink of water?

She replies, “Be glad to but I recommend you drink the water straight out of the well. Much cooler than what’s in the house. There’s a bucket with a rope and a ladle right on top. You can’t miss ‘em.”

I thank her and walk over to the well.

She’s right. The water is cool and refreshing. A man comes out of the nearby barn.

“Howdy, stranger.”

I say, “You’ve got some good water here.”

Farmer: “That’s a deep well.”

We talk for the next hour or so. About the weather, sports and chickens.

I ask him, “Raising chickens is a good livelihood?”

Farmer: “Yes. I’ve been doing it exclusively for the last ten years. I got tired of trying to grow crops through droughts, floods, and a series of broken-down tractors. My two sons are grown and gone. Just the Missus and me. We’re satisfied.”

Me: “That’s all you can ask for.”

Farmer: “How about having supper with us? You’re an easy guy to talk to and the Missus and me would enjoy some company. It’s been too quiet, since the boys left.

The farmer’s name was Lambert and his wife’s name was Joanna.

When we sat down, Lambert quickly started to fill up his plate.

Joanna: ‘Now, Lam, you’re not being a very polite host.”

Lambert bowed his head, “Thank the Lord and pass the butterbeans. Amen!”

I didn’t laugh until Joanna laughed. They both appeared to have a good sense of humor.

It was a nice evening and after supper we sat on the front porch in rocking chairs. Lambert smoked a pipe and I sipped on iced tea.

I asked him, “How long have your boys been gone?”

Lambert replied, “Tyrone joined the army two years ago. He should be getting out soon. Clark just left for college a few months ago.”

I don’t what made me think of this, but I asked, “Were the boys active in any kind of clubs in high school?”

Lambert sounded a little surprise, “Why yes, they were both in the amateur astronomers club.”

“Was it something they were excited about?”

Lambert: “Yes, especially Clark. He’s majoring in astronomy at the college he’s attending.”

“Does this club still exist?”

Lambert: “As far as I know. The high school is just north of downtown Tacitusville.”

Joanna walked out on the porch and sat down in the remaining rocking chair.

She said, “What a night! Reminds me of the night when Ty and Clark spotted that flying saucer.”

I asked, “With their naked eyes or using a telescope?”

Joanna: “They had a telescope set up on the hill behind the house."

“Okay if I walk over to the hill and gaze at the night sky? I’m somewhat of an amateur astronomer myself.

Lambert: “Sure thing. When you leave the porch, go around either side of the house. Then go straight back for about 300 feet.”

The hill was a great place for viewing the sky. It was in the middle of an open field. The closest artificial lights were at the house.

It was still some twilight but in about fifteen minutes it was totally black. No clouds in the sky and the stars were sparkling.

I begin to wonder if my mission was really. In retrospect, locating the FTLs had been much too easy. Something was missing here.

An idea crossed my mind that the purpose of the FTLs was to divert me from my real mission. But I had no clue what that mission was. I tried to remember to the minutest detail, my conversations with the man and woman of the future. Had they inadvertently given anything away?

I wasn’t supposed to get tired but maybe my aura was starting to weaken. Laying on my back with my hands behind my head, gazing up at the multitude of stars, I fell asleep. Next thing I knew it was morning and Lambert was standing over me.

Lambert said, “You looked so peaceful laying here last night, I didn’t have the heart to wake you up. Joanna told me she thought you had been doing some hard traveling and it had caught up with you. I hope you’re not upset with me for not waking you up last night.”

I replied, “Not at all. Best sleep I had in a long time.”

Lambert: “Come on in the house. Joanna has breakfast ready.”

Now that’s one invitation I couldn’t refuse.